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Few people can honestly say that their divorce was completely without stress, but there are certainly steps you can take to prevent a tense situation from overwhelming your entire life. If you and your spouse realized that separating is the best option, it is imperative that you work together to find solutions that will help both of you stay sane and make it through the difficulties ahead.

The following are three of the most effective ways you can accomplish this. Approaching your divorce in a mindful and collaborative manner is the key to avoiding unnecessary drama, saving money and preventing a drawn-out battle in a courtroom. Consider the following tips for divorcing with minimal stress.

1. Find common ground


Even if two spouses are simply not right for each other, a divorce is still a difficult process to go through. Many end up having to deal with it, and in 2013, over 76,000 divorces took place in Texas, according to a report published by the Texas Health and Human Services.

Going through mediation is a good way to try to relieve some of the anxieties of a divorce. No matter how long this period of time takes, divorcing spouses often feel an array of emotions. It can be easy to think these feelings are unhealthy, but rest assured, it is completely normal to go through the following:

1. Missing numerous aspects of married life


Regardless of what happened between you and your spouse, children are often the ones that suffer the most when it is time for a marriage to end. Despite your differences, forcing your children to choose between one parent or the other can create serious conflict that affects their relationships in the future. Divorce does not have to be messy, and you can minimize the damage if both you and your spouse are invested in mitigating the emotional harm to the children and to each other. Your children care about both their parents and do not want to see you suffer.

Choosing between parents

When parents fight and bad-mouth each other, children often feel as if they must choose which one to love the most. They also may feel as if they must bad-mouth one parent when they are with the other. Because they love you both, this can create serious conflict within them. As your children grow older and become more like you and your ex, hearing negative things about their parents becomes particularly damaging. Your children should never have to choose between loving one parent or the other.


7 Common Divorce Predictors

Posted on in Divorce

Since divorce rates began skyrocketing in the 1970s, relationship experts have been fascinated and puzzled by high divorce rates. Many have studied common factors shared by divorcing couples in hopes of identifying predictors. Elite Daily recently dove into the results of these studies and compiled a list of common divorce predictors. Maybe you are struggling in your marriage, or perhaps you've already headed down the path to divorce. If so, knowing the following information may help you work on improving your marriage or assist you in parting amicably:

  1. Having an online relationship: Yes, dating someone online is cheating - even if you don't meet in person. If two people are emotionally involved, that means a relationship exists and a spouse can get hurt, and angry, and jealous. Additionally, spending too much time on social media in general has also been shown to increase divorce rates.
  2. Overspending on your wedding: The average American wedding costs over $25,000. For a young couple just starting out, going into debt over the wedding can put unnecessary financial strain on a marriage.
  3. Living in a red state: Interestingly, if you live in a more conservative, religious state, you have a greater chance of divorcing. Why are divorce rates higher in red states? Some say the pressure to marry sooner, to not live together and teaching abstinence-only birth control could be contributing factors.
  4. Not going to college: While you might think student loan debt can put strain on a marriage, college graduates are generally more financially stable and have lower divorce rates than those with high school educations. This is likely due to higher incomes, which results in overall less financial strain for the college-educated.
  5. Living far from where you work: For some reason, having a commute longer than 45 minutes puts stress on a marriage and increases the risk of divorce.
  6. Unequal household duties: If one person does all or most of the cooking, cleaning and laundry, he or she is bound to become resentful. Sharing household duties is a must for a successful marriage.
  7. Having a daughter: The final and most surprising divorce predictor is having a daughter. Some say it's because moms want to be a good example for their daughters and don't want to show them it's ok to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Others think daughters could provide emotional support to mothers that empowers them to leave. Another possibility is that mothers of boys tend to stay married for fear of a father-less household. More rationale can be found in this ABC News article.

Of course, these predictors certainly won't apply to every marriage. Your marriage is unlike any other, and you and your spouse are the only ones who can decide if you will stay together or part ways. If you do decide to end your marriage, consider mediation for a peaceful, low-stress and affordable divorce.

The process of ending a marriage is never fun. Whether you are amicable or angry throughout the process, most people experience negative effects of divorce on their emotional, mental and physical health. While you and your ex are focused on separating and perhaps making the divorce easier on children, you may not notice the physical effects that divorce can have on you.

1. Increased rates of chronic diseases

Research shows that those who have made it through a divorce intact are also more likely to develop chronic conditions, like diabetes and heart disease, and deal with mobility issues as they get older. Taking care of yourself both emotionally and physically during a divorce may keep your heart healthier, ensuring you live a long, happy life.

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