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A friendly divorce may make your post-divorce future better
Divorce can be a tremendously stressful and sad experience. After all, when you decide to separate from someone you promised to love forever, you must deal with a variety of emotions. You do not, though, have to have a full-on battle with your soon-to-be ex-spouse.
While as many as half of marriages end in divorce, amicable divorces are on the rise. That is for good reason, as spouses often save both money and emotional capital when they use a mediator to dissolve a marriage instead of a lawyer. What may surprise you, though, is that you may have a better post-divorce future by opting for a friendly marriage dissolution.
Maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-spouse
Mediating a divorce often requires both partners to make concessions. When you work with the right mediator, though, the situation remains productive instead of acrimonious. By negotiating with your partner in good faith, you maintain a healthy relationship. If you have children with your spouse or continue to own property together, avoiding a bruising court battle may make good sense.
2 tips for avoiding a divorce with a lawyer
Though the term divorce is often synonymous with court and lawyers, many couples navigate their divorces without attorneys or contentious court battles.
Divorce is a decision that requires careful contemplation and preparation. Couples who want to avoid the drama and legal ramifications of separation and save money and stress should consider the following pointers on having a divorce with minimal attorney involvement.
1. Determine what the dominant issues are
Couples who have children, businesses, real estate, multiple assets and a large disparity in separate income at stake have fewer things to consider during their separations. These issues often require more legal and professional assistance to ensure the most vulnerable parties (often the kids and lower-earning spouse) are not taken advantage of. Partners, where the playing field is close to level, should work together to identify what their primary concerns are regarding the dissolution process and work them out. They should also make it known that they are willing to collaborate to avoid having to rely on the legal system.
How to prepare for an amicable divorce
Not all Texas divorces end up in court where one spouse screams and fights to prolong the battle and dissolution process. Divorce mediation makes it possible to have an amicable divorce if you and your spouse agree that ending your marriage is better than trying to prolong what is inevitable.
To make the separation easier, do not rush the process. It is a good idea to prepare before filing the divorce papers. Even if you and your partner think you have things all figured out, here are a few pointers to help you stay on track and prevent unexpected issues and delays.
Take care of your emotional health
One of the biggest issues that can cause problems in the divorce process is unresolved feelings. Being in agreement about the end of the relationship does not necessarily mean that both parties are on the same page about their feelings on the matter. Consider seeing a therapist to work through your emotions so you are in the right state-of-mind to handle anything the separation process throws your way and remain amicable with your ex.
How divorce affects children of wealthy parents
It is no secret that divorce can have a negative impact on children. From switching between homes to dealing with angry parents, the changes that come with divorce can take a toll on children's emotional well-being. Kids may blame themselves for their parents' breakup or not understand why the marriage ended. It is hard being a child during and after a divorce.
The marital split does not affect all children equally, however. When it comes to academic achievement, a recent study reveals that those from wealthy households actually experience the most setbacks, reports Time. Compared to their peers in intact families, wealthy children who had gone through an unexpected divorce had lower rates of high school and college graduation.
Reasons for the greater damage
Children who are higher up on the economic ladder tend to have more stable homes. They usually do not face the same types of daily challenges that those from poorer families may face. Therefore, a divorce brings about more disruption and dysfunction than these children are used to, especially when the divorce is sudden. When major marital strife has been present for some time, a divorce is generally beneficial and has no influence on education.
Avoid turning to the internet for advice during mediation
One of the sources most people turn to with questions on any topic is the internet. They research different websites, opinions, and viewpoints from various "experts" to grasp some kernels of truth or find wisdom that may help them come to a sound decision.
The internet is often the first place people look for answers when considering marital problems. In a sense, this can turn into a one-way dead end that is the opposite of mediation.
The problem with online information
Articles about mediation and marital disputes, though well-intended, are not necessarily accurate. The fault may not lie with the writer, but instead, with irrelevant, out-of-context generalizations. Each mediation is different because each marriage and reasons for dissolution are unique. Mediation is a fluid process. Issues that appear in the beginning can resurface later in a veiled form that indicates a problem remains. A skilled mediator is alert for hidden issues dressed in different clothing. One partner is struggling when using this strategy. Until the mediator assures the nervous partner that it is okay to revisit issues, the mediation process can stall.
What to expect from an angry spouse during divorce
Many divorces that occur in Texas are fairly amicable. However, there are horror stories about angry spouses who intentionally delay the process. There is also the greater extreme where a spouse lashes out in violence. An angry husband shot his wife and three other family members in Texas after she filed for divorce.
Those stories are rare. More often than not, a spouse will simply be upset the marriage has come to an end and make things difficult on the ex. If your spouse does not react to the news of the divorce well, then you should expect some of the following to occur. None of these are certainties, but they are important to keep in mind, so you can react accordingly.
Delay the process through the discovery phase
Both spouses and their attorneys will go through a discovery phase. This occurs when legal counsel asks for certain documents to aid with the proceedings. Some spouses will intentionally make things difficult by not cooperating and failing to respond to all requests. Additionally, your spouse can bog your attorney down with numerous requests to slow things down further. You should not hesitate to use the Family Court System to speed up the process when necessary.
3 tips for avoiding an expensive divorce
As someone navigating your way through a divorce, chances are, you are preparing for considerable change in your life in the days ahead. While adjusting to life on your own can be difficult in and of itself, it can prove much more so if you are also having to finance a tremendously costly divorce. The good news, however, is that divorce does not have to involve a sizable investment, and Yahoo Finance reports that there are a number of different steps you can take to lower the costs associated with yours.
So, what can you do to help avoid an unnecessarily expensive divorce?
1. Consider mediation
You and your ex once worked together quite well, or you probably would not have married. If you can pull it together enough to do so for a little while longer, it can save you both a substantial amount of money. In 2015, for example, a traditional courtroom divorce would run you somewhere between $15,500 and $19,200 or even higher, depending on whether custody and related issues are part of the proceedings. Mediation can often cut this amount significantly, saving both parties money they might need for down payments, security deposits and so on down the line.
Mediation a cost-effective alternative to divorce
As a Texas resident currently navigating your way through a divorce, you may be weighing your options and trying to determine the cleanest, easiest and most affordable way to untangle your life from your former partner's. Often, parties working their way through divorces choose to hire their own attorneys to represent them, but this comes at a considerable expense and is, in some cases, largely avoidable.
Mediation, for example, presents an affordable alternative to a traditional courtroom divorce. Typically, mediation involves having both parties in the marriage meet with an impartial third party – known as a mediator – who helps them work through a broad range of issues related to spousal support, asset division, child custody and so on. While mediation often brings with it numerous benefits, such as increased privacy and a minimal emotional strain on any children you and your former partner may share, one of its biggest benefits is that it can save you a substantial amount of money.
An amicable divorce does exist
Ever scroll through social media and see those cute pictures of divorced people who still throw joint birthday parties, go on vacations together and celebrate holidays together, all for the sake of the children? If your separation appears to be on a path to a much less happy ending, there is a way you can help reduce the stress and angst divorce actions cause: family law mediation.
When trying to minimize costs and stress during divorce proceedings, consider going the route of a mediator to assist in settling matters amicably for both parties. While you may not want to book a vacation with your ex, you may wind up feeling less hostile.
Mediation is less threatening than court
Going through the judicial system intimidates even the most educated person. The bickering that occurs may result in your divorce getting decided by a judge. In the cases where a couple takes their case all the way to the courtroom, the cost and stakes wind up high. Legal fees add up quickly when court filings multiply, and lawyers argue in front of judges. The stakes may wind up higher when leaving your future up to a third party who has no real concept of your actual needs.
What to do if you cannot afford a divorce
The only thing worse than being in an unhappy marriage is feeling like you cannot afford to get out of it. While getting a divorce may not be the most joyous process, it is better than feeling miserable in a relationship that is going south. What do you do when you do not have enough funds to hire an attorney or move out on your own?
Contrary to popular belief, divorces do not need to be expensive. You can leave your spouse without breaking the bank. Here is how to do it.
Divorce without attorneys
You may assume you need a lawyer to end your marriage, but that is not true at all. You can forgo hiring an adversarial attorney by opting for a neutral third party instead. The best way to achieve this is by entering into mediation.
How mediation works
In mediation, the third party helps you resolve your marital issues without stepping foot in court. The purpose of mediating your divorce is to reach an agreement based on compromise. Mediation sessions take place in calm and welcoming environments. The mediator will assist you and your spouse in working out all the details of your divorce, including custody and property division. At the end of the process, you and your spouse sign a binding agreement.