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Why mediation works so well

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If you and your spouse have arrived at the point in your marriage where a Texas divorce appears likely, neither of you probably relishes the thought of an expensive, lengthy court battle during which you hurl accusations at each other across a crowded courtroom. Take heart. Divorce need not be that way.

If you seek a more amicable way to end your marriage, you would do well to consider mediation. Not only can mediation cost as much as 40-60 percent less than a traditional litigated divorce, this out-of-court process allows you and your spouse to maintain control over your respective lives instead of leaving important life-altering decisions up to a judge. Since the two of you resolve your own differences during mediated negotiations, you save yourself the excessive stress associated with many litigated divorces. Best of all, you may be able to obtain your divorce without either of you having to step foot inside a courtroom.

Getting started


Preparing for mediation

Posted on in Uncategorized

If you are choosing to mediate your divorce, it is likely because you are aware of the benefits this process can yield. Mediation can deliver substantial savings both in terms of financial cost as well as in time and psychological wear and tear.

Taking the time to prepare for your mediation sessions can help you get the most out of the process. The following steps can lead to a more effective, streamlined mediation:

Have your information ready


In 2016, researchers who were studying the effects of recession chanced upon information that took them in a totally different direction. Their findings indicated an unusual pattern in divorce filings at certain times of the year.

What they learned

Researchers at the University of Washington were going over recession data that had been gathered between 2001 and 2015 when they discovered the pattern of divorce filings in the state. There was a marked increase after the holiday season and at the end of the summer each year. The researchers concluded that the holidays represent anticipation and rising expectations and are, therefore, inappropriate as a time to divorce. However, if the holidays are a let-down that only creates additional stress, couples will make the decision to divorce once the holidays are over. Summer is also a crucial time for decision-making since it is often reserved for vacations and family time. However, the researchers found that the divorce process was set in motion once the children went back to school.


After years of trying, you and your spouse have finally decided to call it quits. You both simply have too many differences to make your marriage work. However, now you have children to worry about, and both of you have significantly different philosophies on raising children – especially when it comes to your religious beliefs. If your faith is causing a great deal of contention during your divorce and visitation battle, you are not alone. Countless people in Texas and elsewhere are going through the same thing.

As you might expect, two people with differing faith beliefs can have a difficult marriage. The Chicago Tribune reported the results of an extensive interfaith marriage survey. The journalist conducting the survey determined that people in mixed faith marriages tend to be less stable, happy and satisfied with their relationships, with the divorce rate for interfaith marriages being high.

You might not be surprised to hear that children can be greatly impacted by their parents’ arguments over religion, which may include the following:


Couples stay unhappily married for many reasons, including the cost of a divorce. With divorce costs potentially running into the tens of thousands, many people are afraid that their divorce will lead to a bankruptcy. Considering that divorce is one of the top reasons why people file for bankruptcy, this is a healthy fear.

The lower cost of a mediation is a key reason why many people choose it as an alternative to divorce. While you may have heard that mediation is cheaper, you may be wondering exactly how it can save you money. Here are three common reasons why mediation is often the cheaper option compared to divorce.

How mediation can help your wallet


Divorce is a painful process that typically takes an emotional toll on all parties involved. Even if you mutually agree that it is the best option, you can likely expect a certain level of contention to follow. This is especially true if you choose to go through the traditional divorce process and duke it out in court. While this is the method of the majority, it is not necessarily the most productive path.

Many people are unaware that there is an alternative, though. Mediation offers another way to negotiate the details of a divorce without going through the process of court. There are a number of reasons why it is becoming increasingly popular. You might see why when you consider the following downsides of a litigated divorce.

1. It takes more time


The divorce process is notorious for fostering contention. Feelings of anger, pain and revenge can cause spouses to choose not to act cooperatively to hurt each other. Even without those emotions, disagreements over the division of property and time with children are inevitable.

Fighting over everything in a divorce draws it out, leading to higher legal bills, more stress and a greater negative impact on children. However, being passive and unconcerned for your own welfare can also result in an undesirable outcome. How much arguing is appropriate, and about what?



Mediation is great for couples who still get along reasonably well and want a less stressful separation process. However, those with disputes and conflicts may still find this a viable solution. It may also be possible for individuals in abusive relationships to benefit from mediation because it can help provide strength to the person who suffered abuse.

There is a lot to discuss during mediation sessions. One item some spouses may not think to ask about is who gets the family pet. Whether a couple shared a dog, cat or bird, it is not likely spouses will be able to reach a custody agreement where they trade off. In the eyes of the court, an animal is property, so they may be better off figuring out who gets the pet during these sessions.

Questions to help reach a conclusion


Nowadays, mediation has become a popular way to move through the divorce process. However, many people still are not exactly clear on the specific differences between a mediator and a family law or divorce attorney.

It is important to distinguish between what a mediator does and the services he or she can provide in helping you handle your divorce, as opposed to what a lawyer can do. The two professionals are not the same, and the benefits of each are different. Here are some basic considerations to help you understand how mediators and divorce attorneys differ.

Mediators are not necessarily attorneys


When it comes to divorce, one perspective is that there are three types: a simple divorce, a somewhat simple divorce and a complicated-as-heck divorce. A simple divorce would be one in which the parties have few joint assets to divide and no children. A somewhat simple one might be a divorce in which they agree on most issues but have a child or piece of property to talk about. A complicated-as-heck divorce could be one in which many joint assets are involved as well as children and businesses. Even if the couple agrees on most or all the issues in a complicated divorce, there is just so much involved that the divorce has to be complicated as well.

It does not, though. It really does not, even if the couple disagrees on some issues.

Mediation and the keys to staying out of court


Your divorce is likely to be heartbreaking for your children. As you may suspect, it can take a long time for kids to move on after their parents' divorce. Fortunately, when you and other Texas parents understand how divorce affects children, you may help them adjust to this difficult period.

As HelpGuide explains, children react to their parents' divorce in different ways. It is how you approach the topic with them and work with your ex-spouse that can have a positive or negative impact.

What to avoid during a divorce


Perhaps you and your spouse are facing divorce and have agreed that mediation is a much better solution than going through a traditional court proceeding.

You have already reached agreement on your own about the division of certain assets. However, you have issues over what happens to the family business. Can mediation help?

The largest asset


In the state of Texas, mediation is frequently ordered by the courts in a divorce matter. It is a way to end a marriage that many couples agree upon anyway because of its benefits.

Mediation is a more peaceful alternative to litigation, which can be a costly, adversarial proceeding. It is also a faster process that is composed of three basic steps.

Step 1: the introduction


Divorce by its very nature is an emotionally fraught time, possibly being full of conflict and decisions to make under high-stress circumstances. This being the case, it can be important to find ways to cushion the emotional impact of divorce to preserve your stability during this trying time.

Not all divorces are high-conflict and traumatic. There are some strategies that could help you minimize conflict and stress and work through your divorce in a more balanced way. Here are three suggestions that may help you in finding ways to approach your divorce in a way that helps you preserve a sense of emotional stability:

1. Help children avoid negative effects of divorce


When you are facing a divorce, it may be the first time you have ever had to deal with a legal issue that has to go through the court system. As such, you may be wondering what the requirements are and if you have to go before a judge.

Not all divorces end up in the court. While you will need to have your divorce registered through the court system, mediation is one alternative to going to court for your divorce. Read on to find out if your situation may qualify for mediation instead of a court-litigated divorce.

Which couples are good candidates for mediation?


How do I prepare for mediation?

Posted on in Divorce Mediation

You are among the many divorcing couples in Texas who have chosen a mediated divorce over traditional litigation. This can be a wise choice, as you know. Mediation offers numerous benefits over litigation, including costing less, saving time and being less stressful on everyone involved. You can also learn negotiation and communication techniques that may continue to serve you not only in your daily life, but while you co-parent with your ex.

However, as you also know, no divorce is entirely stress-free, even an uncontested one. You might have feelings of anxiety and stress as your initial mediation date approaches, and this is completely normal. It may help to prepare yourself mentally and physically. Some ways to achieve this can include the following:

  • Consider what is best for everyone. Be open to possible outcomes that can benefit your children, yourself and even your soon-to-be-ex in the long run.
  • Make a list. Write down the conflicts that you and your spouse are likely to bring up during the mediation process.
  • Problem-solve ahead of time. Come up with possible solutions and put them in your list, so you can discuss them during mediation sessions.
  • Be prepared to be flexible and open-minded. Mediation works best when both parties cooperate, respect each other and work together to come up with solutions everyone can agree on.
  • Take care of yourself. The stress of a divorce can take an emotional and physical toll; take some time to de-stress, treat yourself to a small gift, exercise, meditate or have lunch with a friend.

Like any type of divorce, mediation can take some work and effort, but the result is usually far preferable to going to court or hiring expensive lawyers. The key to successfully approaching mediation is to go in prepared, be willing to compromise and remember to cooperate and treat each other with respect and civility.

Divorce is, by all accounts, an emotionally challenging and fraught time. Because many couples going through divorce are under exceptional stress, especially on an emotional level, it can often happen that decisions made in the heat of the divorce are later viewed as unsatisfactory.

If you have a divorce agreement that no longer suits your current needs or your current situation, you may be looking at how you can modify that agreement. In certain cases, you may be able to get help from a mediator in order to accomplish this. Here is some more information that can help you better understand your options.

The benefits of a mediator


Many people think that going through a divorce means they have to face a long and drawn-out court battle. The truth, however, is that there are many excellent alternatives to a contested divorce that goes through the court system.

If you are facing a divorce and want to avoid having a judge make decisions about your future, here are some options you can consider. In many cases, these alternatives provide a more cost-effective and harmonious divorce process.

Benefits of mediation


Going through a divorce is a traumatic experience. It can be even more difficult when the two spouses are unable to come to an agreement and the conflict drags into a long court battle that is costly and stressful.

The good news is that not all divorces have to be this way. Mediation is a viable option for many couples facing divorce.

The costs of a litigated divorce


There are numerous items divorcing couples need to figure out how to divide for a divorce. One common point of contention comes down to determining who gets custody of the dog, cat, rabbit or any other pet the couple shared.

Mediation is a peaceful, affordable way for a couple to figure out who gets what in a divorce. When a couple adopted a dog or cat together, both people will probably want to keep the animal. As with anything during mediation, it is critical for both sides to remain open to compromise. There are various things the couple and mediator can discuss to come up with the best pet custody agreement possible.

Both spouses need to ask themselves some tough questions

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