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If couples are engaging in an amicable divorce, the use of mediation is quite common. Many parties find the mediation option to be very beneficial.

As life goes on, individuals may find it necessary to modify their divorce settlements. In such cases, there are a few benefits of utilizing mediation rather than a divorce attorney.



Reducing stress during divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Divorce can be stressful and difficult. The emotions you deal with when ending your marriage can be overwhelming. From coping with the end of your relationship to the difficulties of resolving details to reach a settlement, you may feel like there is no way to alleviate the whirlwind of stress.

Getting a divorce may be the most painful and stressful thing you ever experience. However, there are several things you can do to lessen the emotional impact. Here are some steps you can take to have a more peaceful divorce.

1. Surround yourself with people


Many marriages unfortunately end in divorce. In Texas in 2013, over 76,000 divorces took place, which was actually lower than the previous year that saw over 80,000 divorces in the state.

To save money and preserve emotions during a divorce, many couples opt for mediation. This is an excellent step to take. However, it is going to end up fruitless if the two spouses cannot compromise. For anyone concerned about doing this, here are some tips for becoming a better compromiser.

Differentiate between needs and wants


A family breakup can be devastating for children. A contentious litigation process will only make it more difficult for them to accept your divorce and move on with their lives.

Mediation is an option in which the participants have much better control over the outcome. Studies find that this approach has a high satisfaction rate and has less of an adverse impact on children.

Trying to cope


How to avoid unnecessary costs during divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Divorce can be costly — often unexpectedly so. For example, the price tag of a two-day divorce trial can run to $25,000. Even a simple, uncontested divorce can cost more than a thousand dollars.

You do not want to make a difficult process worse by losing financial security. There are several ways you can save money during a divorce.

Eliminate as much emotion from the picture as possible


Common reasons people divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Unfortunately, marriage is not always easy. The sad truth is that not all marriages last until "death do us part." No matter how much love is present at the beginning, various things can lead to a marriage falling apart.

How exactly do couples go from being happily married to bitterly divorced? Here are some of the top reasons people end their marriages.

Poor communication


Career factors that contribute to divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Though couples join in matrimony hoping to have long, loving relationships, that does not always happen. While it is widely known that financial strains often result in marital troubles, people whose job's include the following factors also tend to have higher rates of divorce.


Military service is one of the main professions that experience higher levels of divorce. In part, this is due to the great amount of travel that these individuals must do. Especially when deployments keep the spouses away from each other for months at a time, the distance and lack of constant communication can take a toll.


You may have gotten your finances in order, found a new place to live or talked to your parents. But one step of divorce not to overlook in your preparation is deciding when and how to break the news to your children.

Your approach and timing can make a significant difference in how your children handle the divorce. Although your children's ages and maturity levels influence what you say, the following tips are applicable to any family.

Sit down with your children


Few people can honestly say that their divorce was completely without stress, but there are certainly steps you can take to prevent a tense situation from overwhelming your entire life. If you and your spouse realized that separating is the best option, it is imperative that you work together to find solutions that will help both of you stay sane and make it through the difficulties ahead.

The following are three of the most effective ways you can accomplish this. Approaching your divorce in a mindful and collaborative manner is the key to avoiding unnecessary drama, saving money and preventing a drawn-out battle in a courtroom. Consider the following tips for divorcing with minimal stress.

1. Find common ground


Even if mediation helped you get through your divorce with minimal conflict and an amicable settlement, sometimes circumstances change. If your situation has substantially changed, you might be considering making modifications to your child custody order. If you and your ex are still willing to work together, post-divorce mediation can help.

Why go and litigate everything if you do not have to? Learn about the following circumstances in which modifying your parenting plan with the help of a mediator may be necessary.

1. Unstable environment


When you divorced, you may have considered or gone through divorce mediation as an alternative to a traditional courtroom divorce to save money and minimize strain on your family unit. Many people opt for child custody mediation for the same reasons.

Child custody mediation involves utilizing an impartial third party known as a mediator to help you and your ex-spouse work through custody, visitation and related issues. It offers many benefits, in that it:

Can be easier emotionally on children


Even if two spouses are simply not right for each other, a divorce is still a difficult process to go through. Many end up having to deal with it, and in 2013, over 76,000 divorces took place in Texas, according to a report published by the Texas Health and Human Services.

Going through mediation is a good way to try to relieve some of the anxieties of a divorce. No matter how long this period of time takes, divorcing spouses often feel an array of emotions. It can be easy to think these feelings are unhealthy, but rest assured, it is completely normal to go through the following:

1. Missing numerous aspects of married life


When you and your former spouse sat down to make a co-parenting schedule that worked for both of you, your child's life was quite a bit simpler. Now, though, there are after-school activities and social events that make your current parenting plan obsolete.

The good news is that modification does not have to be a big deal. Whether you used mediation during your divorce or not, it is an option for you now.

Discuss your teen's needs with your teen


You may have a good idea of which items you want in the divorce long before you sit down to work on the agreement. However, strong emotional attachments to personal property can get in the way of amicable negotiations, and you could even cheat yourself out of a fair deal if you inflate the value of an object simply because you want it.

A professional appraiser can identify the true fair market value of your antiques, collections, artwork and other personal items so you and your spouse can reach a settlement that is truly fair.

Inventory your household


Regardless of what happened between you and your spouse, children are often the ones that suffer the most when it is time for a marriage to end. Despite your differences, forcing your children to choose between one parent or the other can create serious conflict that affects their relationships in the future. Divorce does not have to be messy, and you can minimize the damage if both you and your spouse are invested in mitigating the emotional harm to the children and to each other. Your children care about both their parents and do not want to see you suffer.

Choosing between parents

When parents fight and bad-mouth each other, children often feel as if they must choose which one to love the most. They also may feel as if they must bad-mouth one parent when they are with the other. Because they love you both, this can create serious conflict within them. As your children grow older and become more like you and your ex, hearing negative things about their parents becomes particularly damaging. Your children should never have to choose between loving one parent or the other.


7 Common Divorce Predictors

Posted on in Divorce

Since divorce rates began skyrocketing in the 1970s, relationship experts have been fascinated and puzzled by high divorce rates. Many have studied common factors shared by divorcing couples in hopes of identifying predictors. Elite Daily recently dove into the results of these studies and compiled a list of common divorce predictors. Maybe you are struggling in your marriage, or perhaps you've already headed down the path to divorce. If so, knowing the following information may help you work on improving your marriage or assist you in parting amicably:

  1. Having an online relationship: Yes, dating someone online is cheating - even if you don't meet in person. If two people are emotionally involved, that means a relationship exists and a spouse can get hurt, and angry, and jealous. Additionally, spending too much time on social media in general has also been shown to increase divorce rates.
  2. Overspending on your wedding: The average American wedding costs over $25,000. For a young couple just starting out, going into debt over the wedding can put unnecessary financial strain on a marriage.
  3. Living in a red state: Interestingly, if you live in a more conservative, religious state, you have a greater chance of divorcing. Why are divorce rates higher in red states? Some say the pressure to marry sooner, to not live together and teaching abstinence-only birth control could be contributing factors.
  4. Not going to college: While you might think student loan debt can put strain on a marriage, college graduates are generally more financially stable and have lower divorce rates than those with high school educations. This is likely due to higher incomes, which results in overall less financial strain for the college-educated.
  5. Living far from where you work: For some reason, having a commute longer than 45 minutes puts stress on a marriage and increases the risk of divorce.
  6. Unequal household duties: If one person does all or most of the cooking, cleaning and laundry, he or she is bound to become resentful. Sharing household duties is a must for a successful marriage.
  7. Having a daughter: The final and most surprising divorce predictor is having a daughter. Some say it's because moms want to be a good example for their daughters and don't want to show them it's ok to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Others think daughters could provide emotional support to mothers that empowers them to leave. Another possibility is that mothers of boys tend to stay married for fear of a father-less household. More rationale can be found in this ABC News article.

Of course, these predictors certainly won't apply to every marriage. Your marriage is unlike any other, and you and your spouse are the only ones who can decide if you will stay together or part ways. If you do decide to end your marriage, consider mediation for a peaceful, low-stress and affordable divorce.

Even if you want a divorce, ending a marriage is never an enjoyable process. There are several things you are likely worrying about, such as property division and child custody. Trying to figure these details out can cause your emotions to overwhelm you and lead to contention. If you want to experience the benefits of an amicable divorce, here are some guidelines for collaborating with your spouse throughout the mediation process.

1. Stop playing the blame game

Divorce can cause a significant amount of emotional distress, including anger, disappointment and resentment. If you are not careful, you might give in to the urge to dump the blame on your spouse through punishment or revenge. Instead, try to develop a clear understanding of all the causes that led to divorce, including any changes in life stages, mental illnesses or skill deficits that created the challenges.


The Office of the Attorney General of Texas recommends co-parenting after a divorce to promote healthy relationships between the child and both parents. This strategy is also referred to as shared parenting and defined as "when both parents work together as a team to raise their children, even after the marriage or romantic relationship is over."

Most people do not know how to work together with someone with whom they have had so much conflict, but you can learn new communication skills. The more specific your parenting plan is, the less conflict there will be once it is approved by the court.

When you are creating a parenting plan, you ought to include these elements:


When you choose mediation

Posted on in Divorce Mediation

You and your spouse have agreed that your marriage relationship is over, and you are both ready to free each other from your legal and emotional bonds. However, taking the steps to get from there to the beginning of your new start in life may seem overwhelming. Since you do not want to battle it out in court, a mediator may be able to provide you with all the services you need.

A mediator can help you and your spouse with the practical aspects of the divorce, including filing the petition and completing paperwork. He or she may also be able to lessen any emotional trauma by providing you with a neutral, third-party perspective and offering dispute resolution services as you work on the property division agreement.



The process of ending a marriage is never fun. Whether you are amicable or angry throughout the process, most people experience negative effects of divorce on their emotional, mental and physical health. While you and your ex are focused on separating and perhaps making the divorce easier on children, you may not notice the physical effects that divorce can have on you.

1. Increased rates of chronic diseases

Research shows that those who have made it through a divorce intact are also more likely to develop chronic conditions, like diabetes and heart disease, and deal with mobility issues as they get older. Taking care of yourself both emotionally and physically during a divorce may keep your heart healthier, ensuring you live a long, happy life.

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