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There are ways to deal with a stubborn mate in divorce mediation

 Posted on March 18, 2021 in Divorce Mediation

There are a variety of reasons for one spouse to be more stubborn than the other when divorce mediation begins.

The pro-mediation spouse may not know how to handle the problem but the mediator will know what to do.

Emotions play a role

Emotions come to the surface in one way or another during a divorce. Parties who choose mediation normally do so because it is a much calmer, more respectful way of ending a marriage and moving on as compared with litigation. In addition, couples appreciate maintaining control over the outcome instead of having to abide by the decisions of a judge. Still, mediation is a path to divorce, and one spouse may be more emotional, more stubborn and more inclined to fight the inevitable than the other.

The mediator and dispute resolution

Couples who want an amicable divorce work together well during mediation. However, if one of the parties is more obstinate than the other, prefers to nitpick or argue, the mediator will steer the negotiations back on track. There are several ways to do this:

- Ensure that each party has uninterrupted time to speak

- Ask parties to explain a point when necessary

- Ask questions to clarify a point

- Identify alternatives to solve issues

- Provide information about the legal system

- Explain how the court will view issues

Focused on the goal

The mediator will not permit one party to dominate the other. The mediator is trained to assist in situations where one party is more strong-willed than the other, the goal being for the couple to create a mutually satisfactory divorce settlement. In most cases, the parties are able to overcome their differences and work together to achieve this objective.

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