Even if you want a divorce, ending a marriage is never an enjoyable process. There are several things you are likely worrying about, such as property division and child custody. Trying to figure these details out can cause your emotions to overwhelm you and lead to contention. If you want to experience the benefits of an amicable divorce, here are some guidelines for collaborating with your spouse throughout the mediation process.
1. Stop playing the blame game
Divorce can cause a significant amount of emotional distress, including anger, disappointment and resentment. If you are not careful, you might give in to the urge to dump the blame on your spouse through punishment or revenge. Instead, try to develop a clear understanding of all the causes that led to divorce, including any changes in life stages, mental illnesses or skill deficits that created the challenges.
2. Discover your own mistakes
When you take all the blame and resentment off your spouse, you can start identifying and rectifying your own mistakes. You should not allow the process to cause you immense guilt or shame. Instead, this can be a time to learn. Evaluate how you may have been inconsiderate and non-cooperative during your marriage. Consider whether you resorted to criticizing or withheld affection. Focusing on your issues and working through them can set you up for a happier life and healthier relationships in the future.
3. Find a fair balance
Do not give in to temptations to come to an agreement based on either selfishness or generosity. If you feel extremely hurt, you might fight to get more than your fair share. On the other hand, if you tend to be generous, you might try to give more in the settlement than you really need to. Either of these can lead to regret and resentment later. Try to strike a balance in your settlement.
These tips may help you to get through your divorce without courtroom drama. Consult a divorce mediator for further guidance.