When it comes to divorce, one perspective is that there are three types: a simple divorce, a somewhat simple divorce and a complicated-as-heck divorce. A simple divorce would be one in which the parties have few joint assets to divide and no children. A somewhat simple one might be a divorce in which they agree on most issues but have a child or piece of property to talk about. A complicated-as-heck divorce could be one in which many joint assets are involved as well as children and businesses. Even if the couple agrees on most or all the issues in a complicated divorce, there is just so much involved that the divorce has to be complicated as well.
It does not, though. It really does not, even if the couple disagrees on some issues.
Mediation and the keys to staying out of court
A do-it-yourself divorce has many benefits, including minimal court appearances and no lawyer fees for overall time, stress and financial savings. Because of mediation, ANYONE can have a simple, do-it-yourself divorce no matter their circumstances and disagreements as long as these important keys are present.
- Openness: Both parties must be open with each other about their holdings, assets, goals, biases and so on.
- Trust: Both parties must trust that the other intends to progress in good faith and that the mediation is for them to resolve their issues in the best interests of the children/overall picture and not for someone to “win.”
- Willingness: Both parties must be willing to compromise and willing to understand that it is rarely possible for both parties in a divorce to get everything each wants.
In addition, both parties should arrive at mediation willingly. For example, they understand that mediation can save them the tens of thousands of dollars a heated custody dispute might cost and can help streamline the divorce and make it happen quicker. They also understand that mediation helps them avoid the unpredictability that comes with allowing a judge to make the decisions.