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Sharon Easley
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Keep the peace and limit conflict during your divorce

Ending a marriage can have a lasting effect on everyone who loves you. Your parents, children and friends all lose something when you split with your spouse. Your first goal is to protect your children and watch out for your best interests, and divorces can quickly become heated and tense without the right approach. Rather than fight over the little things or deal with bitter, angry feelings during the divorce process, work to limit conflict in the following ways.

Improve communication with your ex

Good communication skills are vital to any transaction or relationship, and clear, concise communication ensures that you get what you need from the divorce. If you can speak to your ex without a confrontation, try to discuss things face to face with a mediator involved rather than rely on text and email. If you feel threatened when you are with your ex, you may need to address your concerns and interests in a direct, well-thought-out email.

Consider counseling while you adjust to co-parenting

Even after the papers are signed and the dust has settled, you face the challenge of learning how to parent together from two different households. This is a difficult thing to do on your own, and it may be beneficial to approach a professional to help you sort through your emotions and challenges while you try to do what is best for your children.

Be open to compromise

During a divorce, it is likely that both parties must compromise at some point. You are not likely going to walk away with everything you want. You must go into negotiations willing to compromise to guarantee that the end result is beneficial to both parties. Know which things you will stand firm on and which you are more willing to give up.

Understand the other point of view

It is particularly difficult during a divorce to swallow your pride, release your hurt feelings and work to see the other person's point of view. Remember that the more understanding and calm you both are, the more likely you are to walk away with what you want and start a future free of bitterness. Do your best to understand your ex's point of view.

Hire a mediator

Divorce negotiations are complicated and can get out of hand quickly without someone there to rein in tempers and keep the conversation on course. A mediator is a less expensive option to settle your issues in a way that makes both parties happy. If you are going through a divorce and you both want to avoid an ugly battle, consider hiring a mediator today.

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